Off Hiatus.

Hey Guys sorry it's been so long since my last post. I've been just so busy and it seems as if the days are just passing me by. I've had alot going on in these past few months from friendships to relationships to everything really. For starters I am definitely single and will be for a long time. I figure it's time for me to be selfish and do what I want for a change and not what everyone else wants me to do or be. I'm not afraid to hurt feelings anymore I've had mine hurt millions of times.Now on to my friendships, my bestfriend Mariah and I are drifting and it seems like everyday it gets worst. So I've been hanging out with my other best friend Shannon. I really don't know what I'd do without her. She's been my rock in all this drama that's been going on in my life. I swear I call her everyday with a new problem or new news. But I'm there for her no matter what so it's a 50/50 I think. But I am trying to rekindle things with Mariah because I miss her so much. She is my philasophical thinker and gives the best advice ever!

But on with some less heavy news; christmas is almost here & it's everywhere! I have not yet gone christmas shopping. I was planning on going out at like 3 am for Black Friday but that didn't really work out too well. But I was told that there were excellent sales so I envy those who went. I think I have more shopping to do for all my friends than I do for the Fam. Although gift giving with me is so tricky. I'm on of those senimental gift givers where everything has to be personal even down to the wrapping paper, so that should be interesting.

And as the weather's been getting colder I've been doing some looking at Real Estate in Hawaii. I plan on living there after college and opening up my restaurant by the beach. I had to been online for like 5 hours yesterday just looking at all these BEAUTIFUL villas that all look over the ocean. I swear that there is not one bad view on any of the islands. Anywhere you go it's beautiful, true paradise. As an added bonus my favorite artist of all time "Jack Johnson" lives there too on the island of Oahu. Oh speaking of JJ I don't think I've mentioned him on here yet.

I am a Fortunate Fool which is the nickname for his fans. I have been a loyal fan since Brushfire Fairytales his very first album of many. With his smooth voice, meaningful lyrics and rythems that make you feel like you're on the beach there's no possible way you cannot like him.

He is completely into helping the enviroment; he has a website dedicated to nonprofit organizations that are supports of the new Green trend. I myself am a member of this website. It's http://www.allatonce.org/ here you can interact with other members and discuss and message about your own ideas and opinions. I went to a concert of his this summer at All Points West which is just like Coachella in California but only here in NYC. But there they add boths everywhere for recycling and saving the planet. You even get Green suvenires which is a plus. But I would check him out he's great.

Now let's talk about fashion, shall we?

It's obviously freezing here in New England which means bring out the Uggs and Sweaters. Lately I've been wearing my dark wash jeans and as many cute sweaters and cartigans as I can. Just a simple white tank and a navy cartigan from like J Crew makes you look tres tres sympa without trying too hard. I must interject here when talking about jeans. Let's get real for a minute. Those of you who are wear bright pink and yellow jeans...what the hell are you thinking? How is that possibly attractive like at all? I just don't get it, it's not the eighties. Just a simply pair of dark wash skinnies or classic boot cut look so classy. I used to be a Hollister, A&F person..which I still am. But I have tried on many pairs of Gap jeans and I absolutely love them because they have a slightly higher waste than most Teen stores. So there is no such thing as a muffin top which is nice, right?

Well I hope that leaves everyone up to date with my life and what's going on. I promise to write alot more now that I have some free time.

P.S- I will have alot more time because I'm getting my tonsils out on January 16th so therefore I will be out of school for two weeks.

The transition into the single life.

Have you ever been so hurt that it feels as if some is ripping your insides out? Try having that feeling everday, non-stop. Not knowing if and when it will get easier or worst... Living life with a heavy heart is one of the hardest things you can face in your life. I hate it when people are all like, "think of what you want" and the infamous, "you're better off without him anyways". A bad break up can feel like an alchoholic having to detox. Knowing what makes you the most happy in life won't be there anymore, knowing it may never be the same and they will forever have a piece of your heart that you will never get back.

I happen to be an expert in this department. I have dealt with it and am still dealing with it to this day. But you have to fall on your face a few times before you can finally get it right. Its been said that once YOU are ready to move on from your ex it takes about 60 days, that's about two months of absolutely no contact, no looking at old photos and e-mail. And ABSOLUTELY no thoughts of "what if's" and dwell on what is no longer there. I know it is really really really hard but if you ever want to be happy and find yourself; you'll do yourself a favor and atleast try to get over it.

I'm not saying that after two months of no contact everything will be back to normally and that you will be thinking clearly and be completely over him. But atleast it's a giant step towards moving forward, of find who you really are. This time is for you. Go out with the girls, flirt alittle don't be afraid to have fun. Who's going to judge you? Your ex? Hey, who ended it? Come on now live it up! Take chances, do what you love and remember everything happens for a reason and do not have regrets.

You are beautiful and there are plenty of fish out in the sea you just have to learn to tread water before you can swim. It's a hard transition going from relationshipville to Sexy Single World but in the long run, you'll learn to enjoy it. Right now I am trying so hard to realize I am great just as I am and just because he doesn't think so doesn't and shouldn't mean a thing.

"The moral of the story here is that you need to decide if your ready to start a new chapter in your life."

Its funny how life works.

I can tell you that this past weekend has been anything but happy. I think I was in tears at least 90% of the time. It's so hard to be so in love with someone who supposedly doesn't have the same feelings back for you. I am head over heels in love with Kenny & have been for the 2 & 1/2 years that we have, well were together. To be honest I don't see myself ever stopping loving him. It's the one sided love, the slow killing that really gets me. Everyday I hope that he will have an epiphany and realize he was meant to be with me in the first place. I've gone through my guys and even though I am still at a young age, you can fall in love at any age. Anyone who tries to tell you anything different is a fool. I have never felt this way in my life, feeling incomplete without him around. I guess that's why they call the people you love your "other half". It's just an empty feeling that you can't replace with anything else but them. Now I'm sure people can confuse my feelings with infatuation or obsession. I would have to disagree, although at times it feels like my misery could be unhealthy I know its just all the feelings I have towards him. It was not even two weeks ago that he was feeling the same and begging me back. Its strange how the tables have now turned. But I want this, I want him, my rock, my happiness again.

My advice for all you love sick one sided lovers out there; is that every cloud has its silver lining. And I know its hard going through all those rain storms and feeling like all that you will ever see is clouds of grey. But I promise you even if this relationship that you are charishing so much right now doesn't work out, you won't be alone. There are millions of fish out in that giant sea of possiblities. Its going to be hard, really hard. Wanting something you know is only a reach away but yet feels like trillions of miles away. But that's where fate comes into play and it will guide you in the direction that is best for your life and how it was meant to be lived. Everyones life is like a story or a fairytail, you may think that you choose your own path, but I feel like we're all being guided. Everything happens for a reason, right? So follow your heart but be smart and if you know it won't happen don't torture yourself, be you for a little bit, find things you like to do things that make you happy. Be confident find yourself, you can't truely love another unless you learn to love yourself. Damn I wish I could take my own advice. lol

xoxo- Taryn

Trust your instincts.

Its been said that your first thought or instinct is your best instinct; and your gut feeling is almost always right. Now this can be used in many different contexts such as- work, school ( on tests or what not), friendships and boyfriends/girlfriends. You maybe asking yourself the question, "Where does this fit in with anything?" Well my answer is everything.
Lately I've found myself uncertain as to who I am becoming so instead I've decided to go by the seat of my pants and let love guide me. Let my heart take the reigns for once and let my mind take a little break. My love life is definitely one for the books. Trust me I will bring up stories about the "infinant exes". But for now I am focusing my attentions towards Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome, he's my last beau, our relationship lasted for three years. Long story short I was put on the back burner for a while as he decides how he plans to live his Senior year. Yes, its kills me has left me devistated but this is just the beginning episode to a long season of drama, make-ups and scandelous hook ups.

On a happier note, autumn is now upon us which means bring out those Moccs, sweaters, scarves and comfy jeans. This autumn season, to go with my everyday style which is a comfy casual modern lets go snowboarding and sit by the fire kind of look. I've found myself at The Gap almost every weekend looking for new sweaters and long sleeve shirts. I'm currently looking for new jeans. To me jeans are the base of a great outfit, they have to be the perfect fit, be comfortable and make your butt look really cute.

Over the years I normally went to Hollister for my jeans because I may be thin but I have an atheletic curvy figure and I need jeans that can make my curves look flattering and not fat. I absolutely despise it when jeans make girls look like muffin tops just because it's a wrong fit for them. So to not break the bank, try going to Plato's Closet they have lightly used name brands that are sold for reasonable prices. Personally, I'd rather go to Abercrombie & Fitch or wherever to get my jeans but when I have no cash, what can I say. Trust me no one will ever know either. It can be your little secret.

As for the stylish fall food trends...
For Breakfast: Try having a bowl of oatmeal with vanilla protein and a little brown sugar add a small bowl of fresh fruit to leave a warm sweet kick to your morning. Or maybe a cinnamon raisin bagel with low fat cream cheese and a glass of OJ or Skim milk.

Lunch: How about a salad with mixed greens, cucumbers, tomatoes, almonds (which I unfortunately can't eat due to my nut allergy) grilled chicken and a maple balsamic dressing. Yummy right?

Snack Time: Try some low carb Kashi crackers with cheddar cheese or trail mix, or if you want something sweet, have a cup of yogurt with flax seed oil and some granola.

Dinner- To balance out your healthy day add some protein by having grilled shrimp on top of whole wheat rice and mixed greens.

Dessert Anyone?-
Splurge a little and treat yourself to a cup of Pumpkin spiced latte from Starbucks or Pumkin Cheese cake from The Olive Garden.

*It's a known fact that if you have one bowl of oatmeal before bed it helps you ease your mind and go to sleep better.

Thanks for reading everyone. I am planning on posting again soon.

Hello Readers

Hello Readers,
I'm Taryn and I just created this blog a few days ago so please bare with me as I try to figure out what is what one here. On this blog I plan on discussing music, fashion and relationships.
I'm open to all comments and any suggestions on topics to discuss. Thank you for reading

-Taryn